Sky And Omerta, Sitting In a Tree/K-I-S-S-I-N-G; And, Don't !@#$ With Boonen, Cav!

I Heart Bull!@#$: so Team Sky, which only just recently let its own scumlordly doping-associated doc go because, apparently, they never heard of some obscure outfit called "Rabobank" before he was hired, has now nobly ordered all their current riders'n'staff to sign a pledge swearing they are not now--nor have they ever been--involved with doping, leading to the obvious question: are they (1) that dead set on staffing their whole squad with two freakin' 5-year-olds next year or (2) really telling everyone to completely lie out your !@# about your entire career or you're fired? Of *course* they're gonna !@#$in' lie, you enablers--if you're giving 'em a choice between a meaningless signature about their past practices elsewhere, much less while they've been with you clowns, and their ENTIRE LIVELIHOOD, yes you *are* encouraging the omerta that's wrecked the sport! So much for the teams driving the cleanup of cycling. Oh, well, at least this means Sky has to fire that irritating David Millar I guess...

Cavendish Finds a New Home: speaking of Sky, and now that Lefevere's freed up some serious cash by kicking Levi Leipheimer to the curb, Mark Cavendish has a fine new home at Quick Step, meaning (1) Tom Boonen is gonna remain the squad's Classics god and (2) Mark, you *better* not think o' suckin' away all Tommeke's resources for your own insatiable need for leadouts, you high-maintenance whippersnapper! Oh, come on, like you don't think they'll *ever* want the same race, just once? And jeez, forget the tension everyone swears won't even a tiny weeny bit even exist--how can one team *handle* so much man-candian babeliciousness?

Well I'm Sorry/I Can't Afford a Ferrari/But That Don't Mean I Can't Get You There: and, looks like the peloton's gonna have to go elsewhere for needle-borne "training advice", now that even the Italians are so pissed off at Michele Ferrari they're busting him a new one, which means, if we're all lucky, Ferrari's gonna react like a cornered rabid wolverine rip everyone's face off and take the whole damn group down with 'im. Uh, anyone else besides, y'know, the entire Lampre squad want to 'fess up before the horrorfest begins? And Menchov--I saw your name you sneak--give Heras back his Vuelta dammit, it's not like he made enough dough to do it any better'n you!